Dear Mr Clarke,
I am a long-time viewer, first-time writer. I have always considered you the most eloquent and well-reasoned of all Rugby League pundits.
However, I have been compelled to write to you after watching your latest appearance on the popular Sky Sports show 'Boots 'N' All'. Last night you remarked that performance in the National Leagues has improved "10 or 20 percent".
Now, as a true League fan, I fully understand what you mean and agree with you. However, a minor acquaintance of mine, Barnardo Millionaire, is convinced that you made up that particular stat and are, in his words, "chatting shit".
So, as a highly paid and respected pundit, I am sure you are willing to send us the fruits of your research to back up your claim. In order to shut up Dr Millionaire we will need the following.
i) A definition of how the 'performance' metric is calculated.
ii) A spreadsheet/pivot table of this year's 'performance' versus last years.
iii) Perhaps a small article explaining the differences between the two.
I look forward to your response.
Yours faithfully,
Dibbles
Showing posts with label Phil Clarke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Phil Clarke. Show all posts
Thursday, 4 September 2008
Saturday, 14 June 2008
Phil Clarke breaks it down for me
Half-time at the Leeds/Quins match.
Phil Clarke offers his insight as to why run-away league leaders Leeds are behind
"Leeds are physically losing the enthusiasm battle"
Quite.
Phil Clarke offers his insight as to why run-away league leaders Leeds are behind
"Leeds are physically losing the enthusiasm battle"
Quite.
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
MIA: Mike 'Bright Eyes' Stephenson
When I go on Mastermind in Spring 2009 (not confirmed) I think i'm going to do my first specialist knowledge round on "The collected thoughts of Michael X. Stephenson". That'd be sweet and i've decided to watch Boots N All for some revision.
(As a quick note if I get through to the second round I will be using the medical works of Dr Terry "Ter-reh" O'Connor, the next one will be the inner workings of the Henry Hoover).
They start off discussing the 28 penalties awarded in the Warrington v Wigan game. Eddie isn't happy, are they reaching the damp depths of Rugby Union? Well they are showing the first penalty try of the year so maybe. However Eddie obviously doesn't have enough to do as he is very angry. Phil Clarke is trying to add calm him down, but according to Eddie "It was a two point ball-game". I suppose that means he can't award penalties as it could influence the result. Cue bemoaning the pressure on the referees, even though all the pressure comes from Eddie and Michael X. Stephenson.
The best part of last week's game, of course, was the perfect commentary after the tackle on Matt King. As he lay passed out with doctors applying a neck brace Terry opined (in all seriousness) "He'll be lucky to come back on"
Phil Clarke notes that what gets you to a Grand Final is "hassling, hustling and bustling!". He would make a great coach that man.
Quite frankly that all bores me, but it moves onto other areas. Such as will Warrington get a Super League licence? You may say yes and hit me for wasting your precious time, but Angela Powers is asking that very question.
First she looks at the awesome stadium that is Halliwell-Jones.
It boasts:
Clean Loos
Covered Seats
Standing areas
Swish and unfortunately worth pointing out when compared to other RL grounds
Then she looks to see if Warrington is solvent and funnily enough it is. This is such a massive waste of time, which I assume is the point. The conclusion is that they will get a licence, I am now starting a one man campaign to deny Warrington a licence to show up Angela. Nothing will give me greater pleasure than this (apologies to Adrian Morley).
The chairman of Warrington points out that they bring a lot to the competition and that this can not be overlooked 'We take a lot of fans to away games and clubs love playing us". This is, for those who don't know, the fabled thirteenth point that needs to be ticked even though it can not be measured and has not been detailed by the RFL. Can you imagine if the RFL used this as a reason for rejecting a team? I can and I can also imagine the law-suits. It is going to be sweet.
And that's it.
Hang on, where the fuck is Stevo? I've been sat watching complete and utter arse for an hour, just waiting for his piercing blue eyes, why else would I watch such crap? What a waste of fucking time.
The cricket will cheer me up, that's bound to be good.
(As a quick note if I get through to the second round I will be using the medical works of Dr Terry "Ter-reh" O'Connor, the next one will be the inner workings of the Henry Hoover).
They start off discussing the 28 penalties awarded in the Warrington v Wigan game. Eddie isn't happy, are they reaching the damp depths of Rugby Union? Well they are showing the first penalty try of the year so maybe. However Eddie obviously doesn't have enough to do as he is very angry. Phil Clarke is trying to add calm him down, but according to Eddie "It was a two point ball-game". I suppose that means he can't award penalties as it could influence the result. Cue bemoaning the pressure on the referees, even though all the pressure comes from Eddie and Michael X. Stephenson.
The best part of last week's game, of course, was the perfect commentary after the tackle on Matt King. As he lay passed out with doctors applying a neck brace Terry opined (in all seriousness) "He'll be lucky to come back on"
Phil Clarke notes that what gets you to a Grand Final is "hassling, hustling and bustling!". He would make a great coach that man.
Quite frankly that all bores me, but it moves onto other areas. Such as will Warrington get a Super League licence? You may say yes and hit me for wasting your precious time, but Angela Powers is asking that very question.
First she looks at the awesome stadium that is Halliwell-Jones.
It boasts:
Clean Loos
Covered Seats
Standing areas
Swish and unfortunately worth pointing out when compared to other RL grounds
Then she looks to see if Warrington is solvent and funnily enough it is. This is such a massive waste of time, which I assume is the point. The conclusion is that they will get a licence, I am now starting a one man campaign to deny Warrington a licence to show up Angela. Nothing will give me greater pleasure than this (apologies to Adrian Morley).
The chairman of Warrington points out that they bring a lot to the competition and that this can not be overlooked 'We take a lot of fans to away games and clubs love playing us". This is, for those who don't know, the fabled thirteenth point that needs to be ticked even though it can not be measured and has not been detailed by the RFL. Can you imagine if the RFL used this as a reason for rejecting a team? I can and I can also imagine the law-suits. It is going to be sweet.
And that's it.
Hang on, where the fuck is Stevo? I've been sat watching complete and utter arse for an hour, just waiting for his piercing blue eyes, why else would I watch such crap? What a waste of fucking time.
The cricket will cheer me up, that's bound to be good.
Friday, 29 February 2008
World Club Challenge - Live
As Barnardo can't watch the game, I'll type in the highlights live. How kind am I?
It's pretty windy at Leeds, I assume this will lead to Stevo demanding someone drops the high bomb, however it also means he won't demand any one-pointers. What you gain on the swings...
Sweet Mr Ashley 'Ashley Klein, you're a Clown, Ashley Klein' Klein is officiating. Eddie will love that
3:42 (time elapsed) First recorded mention of Stevo talking up the 'huge bomb'
9:00 Going for pee
10:39 First use of the word momentum by Stevo
13:02 Second use of phrase 'huge bomb' by Stevo
17:21 What is the deal with this 'target angle' when a conversion is taking place. Melbourne's is 6 degrees. 6 degrees to what? I don't understand it at all. Isn't 6 degrees too narrow a gap? Someone explain it to me. He missed anyway, maybe it was 6 degrees.
19:31 Stevo refers to the NRL as 'one of the hardest competitions in the world'
I will now list all the professional Rugby League competitions in the world in no particular order
i) NRL
ii) Super League (Europe)
Fin
23:50 Do you remember during the test series in the winter when everyone was discussing how confused the Kiwis were at playing under International RL rules (i.e. RFL rules) not NRL rules. What rules are they playing under here? I know the differences are akin to nothing; I'm just intrigued is all.
24:56 Stevo claims that Melbourne are playing better in the horrific conditions because "they aren't called Storm for nothing". Interesting.
27:42 Eddie finally admits that perhaps the league is more important than this exhibition match
33:43 Phil and Stevo have their first disagreement. Phil is spot-on. The referee agrees with Stevo. Bad times
34:20 Eddie brings up Sam Burgess. No matter how many great players the Aussies produce "We've got Burgess". Eddie's big boy crush on Burgess is both embarrassing and irrelevant to this game.
38:50 Conversion at 4 degrees? No fucking way, I'd say 45 was more reasonable. I am writing a letter to Sky in the morning
(HT bonus) Brian McClennan, doesn't he look and sound like a Kiwi John McClane? I am convinced by it. Anyway, Eddie says "He is on the brink of glory" with 40 minutes left and his team four points in front.
50:00 Sky News is showing "Harry on the Front Line" documentary. Although he wasn't really, was he? Fucking load of crap.
54:49 First flop and it is by Kevin Sinfield - sweet
60:00 Penalty, 9 degrees, even though it is bang in front. Someone has a laser pen and is pointing it as Kevin Sinfield's eye when he is taking the kick. How fucked up is that? Eddie and Stevo have a good intra-pennine bit of banter. Eddie accuses the perpetrator of being an Aussie, Stevo accuses said person of being Lancastrian.
65:20 Phil Clarke "Leeds rarely concede tries when they are 50 yards from their own try line". No fucking shit
68:33 Sweet, one-pointer by Sinfield. Stevo is so happy. It was probably the right move as well, even Tony Smith agrees.
73:05 Stevo trumpeting the importance of the one-pointer to Leeds. Apparently it is a 'comfort blanket'. I woud argue the try was more important.
80:00 Leeds won - I am not shocked
(FT Bonus) I looked at foxsports.com.au (who along with Channel 9 are the broadcasters of the game in Australia, and there is no mention of this result).
errr....that's it.
It's pretty windy at Leeds, I assume this will lead to Stevo demanding someone drops the high bomb, however it also means he won't demand any one-pointers. What you gain on the swings...
Sweet Mr Ashley 'Ashley Klein, you're a Clown, Ashley Klein' Klein is officiating. Eddie will love that
3:42 (time elapsed) First recorded mention of Stevo talking up the 'huge bomb'
9:00 Going for pee
10:39 First use of the word momentum by Stevo
13:02 Second use of phrase 'huge bomb' by Stevo
17:21 What is the deal with this 'target angle' when a conversion is taking place. Melbourne's is 6 degrees. 6 degrees to what? I don't understand it at all. Isn't 6 degrees too narrow a gap? Someone explain it to me. He missed anyway, maybe it was 6 degrees.
19:31 Stevo refers to the NRL as 'one of the hardest competitions in the world'
I will now list all the professional Rugby League competitions in the world in no particular order
i) NRL
ii) Super League (Europe)
Fin
23:50 Do you remember during the test series in the winter when everyone was discussing how confused the Kiwis were at playing under International RL rules (i.e. RFL rules) not NRL rules. What rules are they playing under here? I know the differences are akin to nothing; I'm just intrigued is all.
24:56 Stevo claims that Melbourne are playing better in the horrific conditions because "they aren't called Storm for nothing". Interesting.
27:42 Eddie finally admits that perhaps the league is more important than this exhibition match
33:43 Phil and Stevo have their first disagreement. Phil is spot-on. The referee agrees with Stevo. Bad times
34:20 Eddie brings up Sam Burgess. No matter how many great players the Aussies produce "We've got Burgess". Eddie's big boy crush on Burgess is both embarrassing and irrelevant to this game.
38:50 Conversion at 4 degrees? No fucking way, I'd say 45 was more reasonable. I am writing a letter to Sky in the morning
(HT bonus) Brian McClennan, doesn't he look and sound like a Kiwi John McClane? I am convinced by it. Anyway, Eddie says "He is on the brink of glory" with 40 minutes left and his team four points in front.
50:00 Sky News is showing "Harry on the Front Line" documentary. Although he wasn't really, was he? Fucking load of crap.
54:49 First flop and it is by Kevin Sinfield - sweet
60:00 Penalty, 9 degrees, even though it is bang in front. Someone has a laser pen and is pointing it as Kevin Sinfield's eye when he is taking the kick. How fucked up is that? Eddie and Stevo have a good intra-pennine bit of banter. Eddie accuses the perpetrator of being an Aussie, Stevo accuses said person of being Lancastrian.
65:20 Phil Clarke "Leeds rarely concede tries when they are 50 yards from their own try line". No fucking shit
68:33 Sweet, one-pointer by Sinfield. Stevo is so happy. It was probably the right move as well, even Tony Smith agrees.
73:05 Stevo trumpeting the importance of the one-pointer to Leeds. Apparently it is a 'comfort blanket'. I woud argue the try was more important.
80:00 Leeds won - I am not shocked
(FT Bonus) I looked at foxsports.com.au (who along with Channel 9 are the broadcasters of the game in Australia, and there is no mention of this result).
errr....that's it.
Thursday, 28 February 2008
No Such Thing as a Straight Line
Boots 'n' All was on last night. Of all the magazine shows about Rugby League on Sky, Boots 'n' All is close to being one of my favourites.
When you have Eddie, Terry (pronounced Ter-reh), Phil and Stevo in a room talking for one hour without a match to guide them, it can get pretty ridiculous.
Phil was first up and had an email question from an annoyed man in Bradford. The crux of the issue is a lot of forward passes creeping into the game. Mr Bradford Man claims forward passes are being ignored by the refs and are ruining his enjoyment of the game. He can clearly see the ball being passed from behind one of the many white parallel lines and ending up in front of it, and he doesn't want it blamed on camera angles.
I have to agree with Mr Bradford Man, I watch a lot of games live and (mostly) on T.V. and it is one of the main things that get on my nerves, what does Phil think?
Phil, whilst talking with a wry smile on his face, announces in fact that these passes are "flat" and then questions in mock horror if they have changed the rules to outlaw this? Apparently you shouldn't look at the parallel lines as a pass can still be back if goes forward, it is all in the wrists and this is what you should be watching.
That doesn't make sense, how can a parallel line be misleading as to a forward pass? The only constant in the whole fucking eighty minutes is the markings on the pitch. It is the first thing that should guide you. I can, admittedly, almost see where he is coming from. He may be referring to the momentum rule, but he doesn't let on.
Phil Clarke also waxed lyrical when discussing a try saving tackle from a Hull KR player (the ginger one, really can not remember his name). He made a pretty awesome try saving body-check after a 45 yard gain from Warrington. It was cool and deserved to be shown on TV; I don't think it deserved praise though, as the reason they made 45 yards was because of his missed tackle in the first place. It comes down to this, do you want a shitty player who never gives up, or a good player who would never even contemplate running back 45 yards (but then he doesn't have to as he always makes the original play)? Me and Phil disagree on which one to pick.
Phil also disagress with the 'theory' that Wakefield lost to Quins because they were effectively playing with a pool of 14 players, instead of 17 (Wakefield lost three of their best players to injury early on). Apparently, you still have 13 on the pitch don't you?
The guy is a fucking genius, I assume teams will be rushing out to debunk this 'theory', they will play games with only 13 players, after all surely the interchange weakens things because you are putting on 'lesser' players? Makes sense.
Phil leaves and is replaced by Stevo, happy in the knowledge that I am banging my head against a brick wall. Stevo is quite good, he answers the question of whether Halifax will get a franchise (Hint: rhymes with go). However he did state that a decade ago Australian teams didn't care about the World Club Challenge a decade a go. Of course this isn't groundbreaking as it wasn't played a decade ago, no team would have taken it seriously.
It worried me that Sky had a piece on Halifax's application for a franchise. Does anyone believe they can do get a franchise? Why don't I apply for a franchise? At least i'm solvent! Is it really desirable that they get one? They are too close to Bradford, Huddersfield and Leeds to warrant any serious mass fan/TV interest. Also, they don't appear to be in rude financial health, sold their own stadium and now play in this half-finished masterpiece. Surely this is the sort of club that Rugby League should not have in the top-flight and at the very least discourage from thinking about it? Why are people encouraging them and congratulating them on their ambition? Madness!
When you have Eddie, Terry (pronounced Ter-reh), Phil and Stevo in a room talking for one hour without a match to guide them, it can get pretty ridiculous.
Phil was first up and had an email question from an annoyed man in Bradford. The crux of the issue is a lot of forward passes creeping into the game. Mr Bradford Man claims forward passes are being ignored by the refs and are ruining his enjoyment of the game. He can clearly see the ball being passed from behind one of the many white parallel lines and ending up in front of it, and he doesn't want it blamed on camera angles.
I have to agree with Mr Bradford Man, I watch a lot of games live and (mostly) on T.V. and it is one of the main things that get on my nerves, what does Phil think?
Phil, whilst talking with a wry smile on his face, announces in fact that these passes are "flat" and then questions in mock horror if they have changed the rules to outlaw this? Apparently you shouldn't look at the parallel lines as a pass can still be back if goes forward, it is all in the wrists and this is what you should be watching.
That doesn't make sense, how can a parallel line be misleading as to a forward pass? The only constant in the whole fucking eighty minutes is the markings on the pitch. It is the first thing that should guide you. I can, admittedly, almost see where he is coming from. He may be referring to the momentum rule, but he doesn't let on.
Phil Clarke also waxed lyrical when discussing a try saving tackle from a Hull KR player (the ginger one, really can not remember his name). He made a pretty awesome try saving body-check after a 45 yard gain from Warrington. It was cool and deserved to be shown on TV; I don't think it deserved praise though, as the reason they made 45 yards was because of his missed tackle in the first place. It comes down to this, do you want a shitty player who never gives up, or a good player who would never even contemplate running back 45 yards (but then he doesn't have to as he always makes the original play)? Me and Phil disagree on which one to pick.
Phil also disagress with the 'theory' that Wakefield lost to Quins because they were effectively playing with a pool of 14 players, instead of 17 (Wakefield lost three of their best players to injury early on). Apparently, you still have 13 on the pitch don't you?
The guy is a fucking genius, I assume teams will be rushing out to debunk this 'theory', they will play games with only 13 players, after all surely the interchange weakens things because you are putting on 'lesser' players? Makes sense.
Phil leaves and is replaced by Stevo, happy in the knowledge that I am banging my head against a brick wall. Stevo is quite good, he answers the question of whether Halifax will get a franchise (Hint: rhymes with go). However he did state that a decade ago Australian teams didn't care about the World Club Challenge a decade a go. Of course this isn't groundbreaking as it wasn't played a decade ago, no team would have taken it seriously.
It worried me that Sky had a piece on Halifax's application for a franchise. Does anyone believe they can do get a franchise? Why don't I apply for a franchise? At least i'm solvent! Is it really desirable that they get one? They are too close to Bradford, Huddersfield and Leeds to warrant any serious mass fan/TV interest. Also, they don't appear to be in rude financial health, sold their own stadium and now play in this half-finished masterpiece. Surely this is the sort of club that Rugby League should not have in the top-flight and at the very least discourage from thinking about it? Why are people encouraging them and congratulating them on their ambition? Madness!
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