Fancy a Laugh?

Oi! Dr Millionaire! Dibbles here, can I nominate Daily Mail readers for the prestigious "What a load of cunts!" award? Namely the morons who list comments on their fabled website?

I enjoyed this typical Daily Mail article.

You know the sort of thing, white elderly man bemoans falling standards. Good honest fare. However, what made the article for me were the 51 (and counting) comments also bemoaning falling standards in grammar and spelling in public life.

An example...

Anyone can make a mistook............., though not as many as the judges in their sentencing of the criminals.
- Dave, cambs, 12/8/2008 7:48.

The best one, of course, goes to my old friend of Charles Edward Taylor of Corby (and one presumes via Liberia).

I am astounded by the lack of simple skills in people who have jn many cases received higher education and in some, univarsity,the use of language is the only way of communicaring and should be presented correctly, Well done the Judge!.
- charles edward taylor, corby, northamptonshire, 12/8/2008 7:54

You could argue that 51 Mail readers have taken it on themselves to be highly amusing by littering every comment with spelling and grammatical errors. That, or Mail readers are stupid fucking cunts. I know which one sounds more plausible.

So do they win?

NHS Problems due to Heartless Machines

Claire Rayner knows the problem with socialised medicine

There were certainly no computers and monitoring machines, however useful.

But what nurses had mattered even more — for these machines do their work without heart.

Heartless machines! She doesn't expand on the many problems with heartless machines, I imagine they are many though.

Furthermore the standard of Nurses is slipping!

She [Matron] interviewed every applicant — investigating her attitudes, morals, intelligence and performance at matriculation (yesterday's GCSEs and A-levels) without putting them before such qualities as patience and kindness. Now all a would-be student needs is the requisite A-levels for university.

I would like to put my hand up and say I would rather someone was trained to a high standard than was kind, kindness won't resuscitate me if I lose consciousness etc. etc.

Oh well

Daily Mail disables spell-check and grammar-check

Ouch! Let this be a lesson to never free-style headlines, double-checking never hurts anyone.

Couldn't make it up...

Richard Littlejohn has, what many would consider, an unhealthy fascination with homosexuality. He may be trying to repress his true feelings, like pulling the hair of the girl you like when you are four years old. I don't know for sure, but i'm going to get to the bottom of it.

In his latest hard-hitting column

Along Tottenham High Road on Wednesday night, on the way to the Spurs/Chelsea game, I was struck by the large number of policemen wearing skin-tight leather trousers and buckled boots.
It looked like a Village People convention.
A friend tried to convince me this was the new uniform of the Territorial Support Group, but they turned out to be traffic cops drafted in for the big match.
Very fetching they looked, too.
And if Brian Paddick gets the mayor's job, they'll all be wearing them.

I'm no fan of the police, but having officers who ride motorcycles wear leathers is a wise move, you don't want them involved in high-speed car chases wearing flip-flops and bermuda shorts.

Apart from being a bit shitty and pointing out these men looked gay, he drops in a line about Brian Paddick being gay as well. Being gay he will dress all coppers in an apparently gay way, obviously. I like how much this adds to the 'story'.

He also drops in another thinly-veiled jibe at people who have had a public-school eduction and their interests. What the hell is wrong with this man?

We're going to hell in a handcart.

Daily Mail Health Scares pt 1

The Daily Mail is doing its best to ease strain on the NHS and not causing panic in the population with this headline.

I am really tired, but I assumed it was the six beers from last night. I'd better get myself checked out, stuff the GP Surgery, I'm off straight to A&E.

In the News

Is this really news? It seems like a cheap advert for Sky News to me, but credit to BSkyB for somehow getting away with it.

However I must agree with the Daily Mail that this is news. I'll give you a quick synopsis: Man evades tax and goes to gaol when he refuses to pay up.

I'm just bitter the Daily Mail refuses to print my comments, bunch of trots.