I am stunned to my very core at the wonder that is this story from Andrew Gilligan of the London Evening Standard.
The story covers the BNP's party list for the upcoming Mayoral elections (which, in the wake of "Crackergate 2008: Whitey wins again", I find myself blogging about almost constantly). If I was to blog about everything in this article that I find amusing I would be here for a very long time.
I cannot stress this enough go read the whole article, it is a joyous thing.
We know we're in for something pretty amusing when we see the title:
BNP picks psychic and a gay porn director as candidates
Alas I will have to attach to the above (sic) as it seems to inconsistent in terms of tenses.
Anyway, it gets better and better.
Firstly, there is a little bit on the recent controversy where Mr Nick Eriksen (Scandinavian name) described rape as a myth. When this story emerged originally it was a little underreported as a result of the mainstream media being frightened of the BNP. Because of this, I only now become aware of this quote:
Some women are like gongs - they need to be struck regularly
Fabulous. Just fabulous.
Next up is Chris Forster (the name Forster has three distinct origins- English, German and Jewish). Mr Forster works as a full-time psychic. This however is not the only job he is qualified for:
He promotes himself as "the only qualified internal auditor and accountant working full-time as a psychic"
First of all- awesome. Secondly I am fucking glad I have never had to work anywhere near a psychic fucking auditor. That would be a right cunt.
Later in the article there are two other beautiful mentions of Herr Forster's occupation, first:
Mr Forster is also described as "the regular tarot and crystal ball reader on Sky TV's Mystic Challenge", a game show where three mystics try to divine a secret about a hidden mystery guest
This is only mildly amusing. Primarily I am excited out of my gourd about this game show. It might just be me, I've been known in the past to get over-excited about something others find to be odd or dull but this frankly sounds like the greatest game show in the history of the world.
The other mention of Mr Forstein's occupations is this:
(BNP mayoral candidate, Richard Barnbrook was) asked if Mr Forster had ever foreseen a time in his crystal ball when Britain had no ethnic minorities, he said: "No, I don't think so. He's married to a Chinese woman."
No further comment needed on that.
Two more things to mention. The article reveals that Richard Barnbrook once directed what is termed a "gay porn film". Mr Barnbrook doesn't think it should be thought of as a gay porn film however. As far as he's concerned HMS Discovery was:
A film dealing with sexuality; it was not porn
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
The final point, the one that really punches home everything you ever need to know about the BNP is this. Lawrence Rustem (Turkish name) is of half Turkish origin. According to one of his colleagues he is allowed in the party on what I can only imagine is some sort of technicality outlined in there constitution. Mr rustem is allowed in because:
He is only half a wog
Indeed.
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