Henry, Henry, Henry...

Of course this story caught my eye, why wouldn't it? If you prefer not to read the story (it is, after all, on The Telegraph online), I will now write a short narrative of the going's on from the point of view of the building contractor from the story.

[whistling to self, walking through staff canteen when locking up the building] Who is that foxy little fella over there? That cheeky grin, those bedroom eyes, that oh so inviting nasal tubing- hot stuff!!

Is that a name tag? It is, his name's Henry! Saucy!

What a bold little fella he is, he's been staring straight at me since I came in the room and we're the only ones here.

Should I go over? He's certainly inviting me with his eyes.

[moves closer, still looking into Henry's eyes]

You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife- what a smouldering silence; he's still undressing me with those puppy dog eyes.

I'm going to touch him and hang the consequences, I can't keep my hands to myself (and the blood has certainly rushed away from my head!).

[fondles Henry's tubing]

Ooh Henry, it's so inviting. Do you want me to? Of course you do.

[zzzip]

[zoo-like noises, vaccuum cleaner noise]

[security guard enters]

Guard: Good Lord, does faithfulness mean nothing any more? We're finished Henry, FINISHED!!