Saturday, 14 June 2008

Phil Clarke breaks it down for me

Half-time at the Leeds/Quins match.

Phil Clarke offers his insight as to why run-away league leaders Leeds are behind

"Leeds are physically losing the enthusiasm battle"

Quite.

Friday, 13 June 2008

Ian Smith (not that one)

I'm running a competition for the most ridiculous commentator (this is a competition taking place purely within the confines of my mind).

So, yeah, Ian Smith. The Test series has just finished and he was pretty ridiculous in getting ultra-defensive at any perceived slight on New Zealand or whatever he took a fancy at.

There is no humour in this man. I assumed he would have been shipped off for the 20/20 at Old Trafford, but, like a bad rash, he is always there. This little exchange took place with Bumble (N.B. not necessarily verbatim).

Bumble and Ian Smith are discussing Luke Wright

Bumble: He's a big strong lad, bats well at the top of the order and bowls a good pace. A good medium-fast pace actually [last ball bowled 86.7mph].

Smith: So you're telling me this guy's going to earn mega-bucks, or so I've been told, and Andrew Strauss is sat at home, a guy who can bat for days and days, score ton after ton.

Bumble: Well they have just increased the bonuses for Test matches so everybody's happy.

Smith: I'd be annoyed if I were him

Bumble (aware Smith is missing the point of family fun 20/20): Lend us a fiver Luke.

I'm being harsh on Smith as the Sanford 20/20 thing is big news, but he speaks as if this news has just come accross via telegram. He did it all throughout the test series, and it is wearing thin

These experts are in place to shed light on something or to add a dash of colour. Smith adds nothing but 'gravitas'.

Anyway the point is 20/20 gets more money because everyone loves it and only about 12 people like Test matches (including myself). Strauss shouldn't be annoyed, he should be thankful he gets to play a game for money and practice his golf swing for the limited overs stuff

Fin.


P.S. Nass is alleging the Kiwis are still in 50 over mode. How??

P.P.S. Flynn has just come to the crease and Nass is advising Swann should bounce him.

Can I ask you to sign for this package, sir?

I really hope they checked the cupboard before they started deliberating.

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Ahh, idiots

On a day that's near unprecedented in UK politics, with a frontbencher resigning to fight a by election on a single issue, it's good to know it's business as usual with the idiots of the country.

In this BBC "News" article the story of a man who chose to heckle David Cameron because of the failings of the NHS is told. He is said to have uttered (after very rudely interrupting the Right Hon. DC) "The public have paid billions for the health service. The people of this country are fed up with empty words".

That's as maybe but I'm pretty sure David Cameron isn't PM. In fact is he even in the Government? Isn't he in some sort of "opposition" to the Government?

Moron. My other point here is essentially that this guy being an utter cunt is not news.

That is all.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

A return to the land of blog

I haven't been posting on here at all for some time now. In truth I have been too distraught following the election for London Mayor which meant that yet another white man would be Mayor of London. Crackergate fans: See you in 2012.

I have been lifeless and devoid of energy since the Mayoral election, nothing has moved me to blog- not a Superhero on Harriet Harman's roof, nor the gigantic Tory victory in Crewe and Nantwich. Neither the shocking BBC election night coverage of the locals and Mayoral, nor the LHC at CERN being brought online and about to destroy us all.

The sun is shining again in my life though and it's all thanks to the BBC and the po-lice. BBC "News" have published an article about the shooting of a po-lice in Manchester on a training exercise yesterday. Read it.

It was training, it was play acting, it wasn't even real but those heroes showed the stones needed to get the job done in today's increasingly dangerous environment. In the clutch they killed one of their colleagues because he was pretending to be a criminal. If we can just see this approach rolled out onto the streets we'll either end up with a lot of dead criminals (sweet) or a lot of dead po-lice (sweet).

This is a game-changer for Gordon Brown. Fuck 42 days detention without charge: 0.42 of a second before discharge all up in someone's face, and I do mean with a gun.

Brazilian electricians, Mancunian po-lice, your days of ruling our streets are over.